Fruit and Loathing in Western Australia
March 5th, 2008 by Isak Ladegård
Forbidden fruit
In one of his well known stories, the great doctor of gonzo and bad craziness Hunter S. Thompson is on the road with a trunk full of illegal substances. The car is blasting through the Nevada desert and he is closing in on the state boarder. The wide range of hard drugs he’s carrying is altogether worth too much money to be dumped before the checkpoint is reached. The simple solution is, of course, to consume it all.
I am in a similar situation. The Western Australian desert is record-breakingly dry and the sun is torturous, but my windows are all rolled up and the shitty car stereo works well enough to encourage singing. I am horrible at it, singing, but I am alone and free on the great Australian highway, with nothing to fear, besides flat tires and suicidal kangaroos.
The road from the West to Adelaide is long and my Ford Laser is stuffed with food for 72 hours. After days with cookies and donuts I am now walking the healthy way and the car is full of fruit and veggies; I have bags of apples, bananas, pears and carrots. Then I see it, the Horror: a big and metallic roadside-sign warns with ugly typography that a $2500 fine will be imposed on fruit carrying travellers. It is illegal to carry fruit across the Australian state borders, it seems, and all of a sudden I have 12 apples, 10 bananas, 5 pears and maybe 15 carrots to dump or consume.
The end of Western Australia is four hours away and I dig in in heavy quantities with a compulsive desire to get my money’s worth, secretly missing donuts and cookies.
Beware fellow travelers: forbidden fruit will not kick you out of paradise, but it will cost you $2500 and that is harsh enough. Go for donuts.
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